“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” ―
I don’t mean to sound like I’m complaining with all the bad. There is a lot of good in my life it is just hard for me to focus on it. I do have a lot of great people I call friends in my life that offer me a great support net in all my endeavors. I love every single one of them, but I find that our relationships vary drastically as well as the parts of my life I discuss with them. When I think about it, I have six extremely close friends.
Two of these friendships are with people I’ve known for years and started in high school even if they became stronger after it was over. Although I am ashamed to admit it, both of these people I have also turned my back on at times. At the time, I somehow reasoned it would be better for both of us, but eventually realized I needed them. Yet, even though I disappeared on them, they both welcomed me back into their lives. I don’t talk to either of them everyday but they’re always there when I need them. The first of those friends has supported me through a lot of major meltdowns and seen my all time lows, and I have in turn seen his. If he hadn’t been around, I don’t know that I’d be here today. The second of those friends is like my conscience. He tells me the brutal truth even when I don’t want to hear it and even when it hurts because most of the time he’s already experienced the same thing. These two know my history better than anybody else even if they don’t know the more minor details of my present or ever really see me in person.
The other four friends are more recent since I’ve been in college, and I see them usually at least once a week if not more. They are the ones I go on adventures with and laugh with and escape my troubles with. They make my life better just by being in it.
One of them I bicker with constantly, but we still care about each other all the same. We complain to each other and can relate to each others issues. The second friend is a newer friend, but that doesn’t really make that big of a difference. I can text him for hours having deep really thoughtful conversations that are usually a bit on the morbid side.
The third of these friends is the one I consider to be my best friend even though sometimes we are polar opposites. She’s the optimist and I’m the pessimist. She was the cheerleader, and I was the nerd. She’s the person who has a high self-confidence where I have no self confidence. She’s so bubbly and friendly where I am quiet and antisocial. We share a lot of interest which is part of the reason it works, but we also can act extremely goofy around each other. I’m a different person around her. I’m happier, and I don’t think about the bad stuff so much there isn’t really time. We jump from one thing to the next so quickly. She gives me a completely different outlook on life.
The fourth of these friends is a little different from the rest. He has seen a lot of the different sides of me. He’s seen me really energetic and happy, he’s heard all the details of my past, we can joke and laugh about everything, but the biggest factor is he’s been there for my complete meltdowns when I have an anxiety attack both in person and on the phone, and he just talks me through it always staying calm.
I mean there have been rough times with all of them, but friendship means sticking together through it and forgiving. It means not abandoning them when they need you. Sometimes it’s hard and painful, but in the long run, it is worth it.
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” ―
Friendship is one of the biggest joys in my life. It makes me feel like I am a part of something, and that maybe I’m not so alone in the world after all. They help me carry on when I just want to give up. I love my friends for everything they do and everything that they are.