Posted in Emotions

Some Perspective On What We Have

“The only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective. You don’t have control over your situation. But you have a choice about how you view it.” -Chris Pine

A while back, I was having a really bad day, and I felt like my life was falling apart because so much was going wrong.  I was talking to a friend of mine about it and telling him the problems I was having, and he asked me why I was upset.  At first, I was a little annoyed because I’d been telling him why, but then, he told me all the reasons I shouldn’t be upset.  He told me I had a place to live, and food to eat, and that I was getting an education.  I felt really guilty after he said that because we take things for granted.

I realize that there are a lot of people who are worse off than me.  I also can see that I have all these opportunities not granted to others.  There are people fighting for their lives, and I’m worrying about stupid problems.  When you have things, its easy to forget about the people who don’t or what it’d be like without them.  I know that my life is really easy compared to people’s lives in other parts of the worlds.

I’m lucky to have the things that I do.  I’m lucky to have the opportunities and experiences that I’ve had, and I am grateful and appreciate them.  I know I should be happy; I seem to have lots of reasons to be.  I feel ashamed to say it and maybe I’m a bad person for feeling this way, but I’m not happy.

Diane: “It’s not about being happy, that is the thing. I’m just trying to get through each day. I can’t keep asking myself ‘Am I happy?’ It just makes me more miserable. I don’t know If I believe in it, real lasting happiness, All those perky, well-adjusted people you see in movies and TV shows ? I don’t think they exist.” -From the TV show Bojack Horseman

It’s not really about the things I have.  I mean they make my life easier and make it easier to exist, but they don’t make me happy.  They just make it easier to exist.  Maybe these things should make me happy, and I’m just being selfish.  I don’t really know.  I mean maybe these things did make me happy briefly sometime in the past, but I’m never really happy for more than a little while.

The things I have don’t stop me from feeling pain and sadness and miserable every day.  I can’t even find the cause of these emotions, so how is that going to stop it?  It actually just makes me feel even mory guilty for feeling the way I do even though I can’t really control it. You can have all the material things in the world and still be unhappy I’m not sure if people realize that.

-Love, Dee